June 8th, 2018
I remember I was in a squat rack and it was Tuesday. June 6th 2017 to be exact and I know this bit because I was scheduled to see Mojave Nomads play the Ogden Twilight concert series on the 8th. My phone buzzed the notification of an incoming text message. I pulled it from the workout band attached to my bicep and read a text from #3.
The Girl probably told you I’m getting married. It’s on Thursday. So can we switch days so she can go to the wedding and stay overnight to go camping?
The Girl would normally go with #3 on Wednesday night for their weekday visit and then again on Friday for his weekend. I typed out, “of course and congrats” automatically. I was a bit surprised and more than a little happy when my auto pilot thoughts in response to this very large announcement were as follows, respectively.
She’s about to learn that I’m not actually crazy
The Girl will be bummed that she’s missing the concert
No anger. No sadness. No vindictive or hateful thoughts. But a good chuckle knowing the new wife was about to learn that *I* am only slightly crazy and feeling bummed that The Girl would miss her favorite band.
I went on to have differing thoughts over the next 48 hours leading up to it. Like how #3 would lose his damn mind if I made such a pronouncement on such short notice in regard to marrying someone he’d never met. But also how it was the best thing ever because now he would never have any room to protest the sudden emergence of a fella in my life. Not that there was the option, but still.
I was also very grateful. Grateful for the obvious. That in the last year that The Girl had talked about the woman that would shortly become her step mom, she spoke of a woman who was kind and attentive. And really, don’t I want my children’s lives to be filled with those kinds of people? And even though I’d never met this woman, her presence in #3’s life was evident because he stayed out of mine (hello restored sanity!). But also, I was grateful that it was happening now. Now that I had become enamored with my life. Now that I was practicing self-love and recovery. Now that I had forgiven (mostly) and moved through (repeatedly) the cycle of grief.
Had this come at an earlier time, I don’t know how I would have received this news. But that day, I took a screenshot and sent it on to my sister and BFF. Uh, little note here for the fellas; you’re usually sending a “group text” whether you intend to or not because that shiz will most definitely be shared with my girls. I captioned the screenshot with “y’all are buying me celebratory drinks at the concert”. And they did. Trust the process of life.
Thank you God, thank you Universe.