Happy Anniversary; the year of the wood

Friday May 13th, 2011 seemed like as good a day as any for my 3rd and final walk down the aisle.  Technically, it was only the second time down an aisle as Temple weddings are a smidgen different than any you’ll see on TV, but still.  Being slightly creepy and paranormal obsessed anyway, I wasn’t deterred by this purportedly unlucky day.  On the contrary, I had previously married on rather lame days without much luck of an eternal companion. Read More

Follow your brain, your heart is stupid as shit

“Always love a woman for her personality.  They have like 10 to choose from.”  I feel like whoever penned this good bit of satire may be on to something.  I’ve mostly lost all pride or luxury of concealing all the less than ugly parts of me.  I take no shame in admitting that there is a whole chorus of voices participating in my mental dialogue every bloody day.  Some of them are dead useful and there’s a whole harem of charmingly, witty ones.  But for my friends who have ever lived with ED, you know he is an obnoxiously loud, over-talking, pessimistic asshole.  While it’s likely that each woman has her own compilation of both helpful and unwanted contributors, I’ve been thinking on mine and all the ways that each has contributed to either my psychosis or recovery.

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The unknown sufferers of Trauma

April 13th, 2016

A few months back I got on with my local domestic violence shelter as a volunteer.  My thought was that if I spent the weekends that I was sans my babies in the service of others, I’d be a whole lot less pouty and maybe incorporate even more perspective into my life experiences.  Also, over the last few months I’ve been studying the Law of Attraction, The Power of Intention, The Secret – whatever your preference is – and I’m pretty desperate to get on a higher vibe or attract some better circumstances into my life, so there’s a bit of selfishness sprinkled in with my altruism.

Last night I attended our monthly training where the topic centered around Trauma Informed Care.  As the presenter focused on identifying and responding to someone in trauma, so much of what she said touched at the core of my being.  Symptoms of trauma fall into the categories of physical, cognitive, behavioral, and emotional.  So many times over the last 8 years I have felt as if I have been suffering from PTSD.  And as I’ve sat amongst my friends in Group, I could only think to assign that same diagnosis to this beautiful crowd.  During this training, I felt something unexpected; a kinship with these women I’ve been serving.

Though I had not been the victim of a husband’s physical abuse, I had very much survived emotional and psychological abuse.  Upon returning home last night, I began compiling a list of parallels so that just maybe, I could help others understand what goes on physically, mentally, and emotionally for those who have lived with addiction.
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