The Poop Burrito

It’s been one week since what would have been my 5th wedding anniversary.  As was expected, the day, and the days that followed, came and went with no acknowledgement of that day or the 5 years since.  Except for Facebook.  Facebook is this really exceptional time keeper, reminding you exactly what you were doing on this day x many years ago.  So basically every day this week, FB diligently reminded me about the tristate adventure that was my honeymoon 5 years ago.  Since DDay, I haven’t been a big user of this social media platform.  I’ve stayed clear of constant reminders of the life I was living.  I did not want to catch glimpses of fun family outings, declarations of love made by adoring husbands, squishy new babies wrapped tightly in between two blissful parents, former family members who I now simply observed through social media and, of course, diet updates, weight loss photos and gym selfies.  So basically Facebook is an asshole and one big trigger. Read More

Happy Anniversary; the year of the wood

Friday May 13th, 2011 seemed like as good a day as any for my 3rd and final walk down the aisle.  Technically, it was only the second time down an aisle as Temple weddings are a smidgen different than any you’ll see on TV, but still.  Being slightly creepy and paranormal obsessed anyway, I wasn’t deterred by this purportedly unlucky day.  On the contrary, I had previously married on rather lame days without much luck of an eternal companion. Read More

Slightly Mental

I was 3 months into a false reconciliation with #3 when I embarked upon my first *real* attempt at ED recovery.  To clarify, I say “false” because at the time that I created space in my life, both physically and mentally, for #3 to demonstrate all of the ways that he was “completely different”, he was actually just beginning a second affair with his original accomplice in our first D-Day.  But to be fair, it was also false because I was not actively working towards reconciliation.  For my part, a better description would be I was passively observing him.  I was desperately waiting for full disclosure, something he never provided, as well as observing what actions he would take to overcome and maintain sobriety in his “addiction”. Read More