Today

Schools out for my little people.  Which is equally awesome and chaotic.  There’s all this running about to summer and football camps and babysitters leaving on vacations and all of the ways that we attempt to keep kids active, entertained, and useful all summer long.  So I feel a little disconnected from my second life as a would be blogger.  When I started blogging, it was initially a place for the journaling that I began during what I thought was just recovery of an eating disorder.  A few months into that process, I recognized (through the help of costly professionals) that my behaviors were more of a symptom of issues rather than *the* issue itself.  Ultimately it became evident to myself and probably anyone around me that I really needed to work through something greater. Read More

A really incomplete backstory.

September 22, 2015

Yesterday was my weekly counseling session.  Now that she’s stopped wanting to choke me out because of my utterly screwed up view of appropriate meal planning, we’re discussing my “trauma”.  I’ve always viewed my trials and mistakes (mostly my inarguable poor taste in men) as really unfortunate luck or consequences of my equally unfortunate decisions.  But it’s through this process, my individual counseling and group meetings, that I’m beginning to think that maybe there is some value in grieving these losses.  Because that’s what a divorce is right, a loss?  The death of a marriage and family and a life that you knew as well as the future you had prepared for and dreamed of. Read More

The Poop Burrito

It’s been one week since what would have been my 5th wedding anniversary.  As was expected, the day, and the days that followed, came and went with no acknowledgement of that day or the 5 years since.  Except for Facebook.  Facebook is this really exceptional time keeper, reminding you exactly what you were doing on this day x many years ago.  So basically every day this week, FB diligently reminded me about the tristate adventure that was my honeymoon 5 years ago.  Since DDay, I haven’t been a big user of this social media platform.  I’ve stayed clear of constant reminders of the life I was living.  I did not want to catch glimpses of fun family outings, declarations of love made by adoring husbands, squishy new babies wrapped tightly in between two blissful parents, former family members who I now simply observed through social media and, of course, diet updates, weight loss photos and gym selfies.  So basically Facebook is an asshole and one big trigger. Read More